The Journey

Real Hip Hip...#GottaLoveit

2011-07-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

Real chill sound. You have to appreciate the song and lyrics

Happy Father's Day!

2011-06-19T09:08:00.000-07:00

Today is Father's Day. And I have a feeling in my heart to resent my father! What is it that makes me not want to forgive? I don't know. Maybe my longing for wanting to have a relationship with him and him not making an effort to have a relationship with me. I know the love exists but its just words over the phone. I probably resent him because I can't let go. I want what everybody has. But in life nothing is perfect. Its a hard reality. I think my Father and I relationship would always be a work in progress! I'm trying to forgive but it feels so difficult sometimes. However, I'm thankful that God has placed many people in my life that I look up to as mentors and Big brothers. I appreciative for the support and advice that they continue to give me. With that said, Happy Father's Day to all the great people in my life. Life would be extremely hard if I didn't have your support. Thank you! I want to give a special shout out to my Mother, who has always tried to find a way for us to live like Kings. Thank you, Ma. You are appreciated! I will try to work on my relationship with my Father. I can't make any promises. I WILL meet him half way. But just know all is forgiven! I wish you the best on today. Happy Father's Day to you!

Another semester...Another school year!!!

2011-05-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

I don't know where to start. I feel like I been beat down and left to lie on the ground. This semster felt great to start off. I embarked on a new journey and grew from the previous semester. I appreciate everything that has happened this far. Even though I'm disappointed in myself for not seriously committing to my academics this year, I can't let that stop me from going on. I have to keep growing and living. However, there will be some changes in the coming weeks. I'm getting back to neutral after the news I found out. Prior to this unfortunate news, I was battling a decision whether Columbus or New Orleans was where I needed to be. I came to that decision through a mentor, and my Brother, Dave, that Columbus was the best home for me. Academically I feel New Orleans would have made sense but that was just one pro compared to the pros of staying in Columbus. So my decision is made. I'm home. I know the journey WILL NOT be easy but I will fight till I win. It has to be better past this point. I know God wouldn't put more on me than I couldn't bear. I have to remind myself of that. It so hard to look up when your looking down. Trying to find that smile is more difficult than you think. I digress. All that to say that I'm learning and growing with each day. I accepted a new position that I was quite intimdated by but I'm taking a leap out of faith. I'm praying that God won't let me fall. As of a few weeks ago, I am currently the President of the Theta Beta Chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Incorpated. Its difficult to step in this role. But I know with me, I would never have gotten to this point. So Im working on my contentness with this position. Its a huge role but I remember that I can't be afraid to fail. You all wish me luck. In additon to this new role and journey, I changed my major to Spanish with a concentration in premedicine. I figured that I should do something that makes me happy and not half-way happy. Prior to this change I was Chemistry/premed. I liked the major but I reached a conclusion it just wasn't for me. So I changed it. Those are the major changes this semester. I pray that everything works out for the best. I discover today that I've haven't forgiven somebody ; my father. And that I constantly been searching for a mentor to fill his position ALL my life. I lacked having my father in my life and I guess I blamed him for not being there. I have to forgive in order to move forward. Its funny beacause I felt that I did forgive him. But maybe that forgiveness was temporary. So here it goes....I forgive you Dad for everything. I can't continue to blame you for the past so I'm good. I'll let go and let God. Thank you God for speaking to me today. I don't know my future but I just pray that my dreams and hopes don't fade away. I'm trusting in you to make a way! I have faith that you will. I believe in my heart and confess with my mouth you are real and that I'm saved. Lord, guide me throughout the rest of the year and allow me to gain knowledge and more focusness this upcoming school year.

Overnight Celebrity..#goodtimes

2010-12-21T13:58:00.001-08:00

"The Test of a Man"

2010-12-21T12:32:00.000-08:00

The test of Man is the fight that he makes
The grit that he daily shows
The way that he stands upon his feet and takes
life's numerous bumps and blows

A coward can smile where there's not to fear.
And nothing his progress bars.
But it takes a Man to stand and cheer while the other fellow stars.

It isn't the victory after all,
But the Fight that a brother makes.
A Man when driven against the wall still stands erect and
take the blows of fate.

With his head held high.
Bleeding, bruised, and pale is the Man who will win and
Fate defied for he isn't afraid to fail

THE TEST OF A MAN

Searching for Normalcy

2010-12-21T12:04:00.000-08:00

Wow! I haven't been here in a minute. The fall semester has been a interesting to say the least. I have encountered obstacles and triumphs and they have aided in my growth. I'm starting to live more. I'm taking more chances and learning from my mistakes. I use to say that I felt more mature than most of the people I knew because I was focused solely on school and academics. However, quickly, as I reached college, I realized thats not the only thing that makes you mature. It's takes a man to stand up and take on roles that he is not use to. Long story short, the world of maturity is quite larger than I envisioned. So I ask myself am I ready to grow into the person I'm ready to be and the person I need to be? YES!!! I nervous about the future but I'm TIRED of being stationary. Being in park for most of your life starts to weigh on you. I will fight through anything that becomes a problem for me. I have to. There is no choice. Ready for a change! I probably say this a lot but it REALLY is time. I will be 21 in less than a month! Its time to step and accept good change. One thing I saw I lost sight in this semester was my faith in God and I forgot to preserve our relationship. That is one thing I will work on as I come into the new year!..."You may fail but fall still fighting. Don't give up whatever you do. Eyes front, head to the finish SEE IT THROUGH". One my favorite poems by Edgar Guest. I will remember these words and keeping fighting till I win. As I reminisce over this past semester, I find myself wanting to search for normalcy. So I will appreciate this break and the time with family and friends. "Aint nothing better" thats what they say. I won't make any promises about this new change I plan to implement in my life because change requires time. I just want to get better. I'm feeling inspired about everything. The people I encountered in these few months have something to do with it. God, Family, Work, Phraternity is what I have my eye's set on! I will continue to move onward and upward! I made it and I'm here!

Keep My Goal Alive

2010-08-10T08:07:00.000-07:00

After talking with a friend yesterday I came to a realization the only way to stay focus is to speak into existence the thing I want to accomplish.

She said "Bring it into existence."

My reply " I have put my goal into existence..That's the only way I won't become wayward on the journey!"

I start today and I make my goal(s) known to myself and I get it done! I can't see myself doing anything else! I feel if I post the schools I want to attend for Medical School I'm strengthening my focus and I won't become lost again. Something gotta give and I pray that this is the straw that erupts a change in me!

Top 7 Medical School(subject to change)
1) Medical College of Georgia
2) Meharry Medical College
3) Howard University
4) Morehouse College
5) Emory University
6)Georgetown University
7)University of Alabama(Birmingham)
8)
9)
10)

Well alright, I will keep you all that listen posted. Its going to be a journey but I willing to put in the work! "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"..Word!

Kanye West Spaceship Vid

2010-08-01T11:16:00.000-07:00

It was long time coming...I didn't even realize that he made a video for this song. Enjoy!

Shawn Chrystopher..Period

2010-07-30T20:52:00.000-07:00

Damn I been sleep huh?? But check this dude out. He's pretty dope

Nneka(Nigerian singer)

2010-07-20T10:51:00.000-07:00

Great voice and sound...I can dig it!! If have not heard of her you been slipping.lol Enjoy!

Dun fck'd up N Found a New HipHop group!

2010-07-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

"Madvillian"...I can dig it! It's difference and its not embellished with BS. I enjoyed it and I hope you do as well....

A Falling Friend

2010-07-06T23:19:00.000-07:00

You leave and come back and your friend is not the same. Its unfortunate how far a part we've grown. The person you use to know is not there any more. How did you become so cold and black hearted? Our conversations are not the same. You avoid me at all cost so that we don't have to face what's real. You've fallen and I was not there to catch you. I say this from the bottom of my heart I'm sorry I did not hold you down the way a friend should. I pray that you forgive me. In my apology, I want to say thank you for your contribution to who I am now.I live life because of you. You did that! I never should of waited so long to tell that. Maybe hearing that would of saved you from the prison you have forced yourself to live in. I need you brother and your well being means a lot to me. Your a real friend and its my responsibility to look out for you when you fall. I admit it. I have failed you and my major concern at this point is how do WE get you back to they way you use to be. There is nothing in this whole wide world that I would not do for you! I'm pretty sure I would fight alongside of you if it meant that you were happy again. I refuse to give up on you and I won't let you keep falling. Before you hit the ground I will save you! Stay strong for me and don't feel like your contributing negative to my life because of what you face. Your issues are mine. I gladly accept them if that means saving a falling friend

Your Free-loading ass gotta go..

2010-06-29T13:27:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I decided to come back to Columbus to see if I could find a job here. The result of my move was not much success at all. But in the meantime, I been kicking it with my homeboi. He 's letting me stay at his spot and and eat up all his food. Who in the world you know would do that?....I'll wait. But seriously I appreciate him for letting me kick it here not many people would tolerate it. So thank you! Low key I think he's tired of my free-loading ass. I swear if I keep sleeping on this futon I'm going to break it. Its making to many squeaky noises. #Majorfail as they would say in twitter language. While here in Columbus I been applying my ass off to find a job. I've been looking on campus and in the City of Columbus with hopes to land an amazing job. I made progress because I got a interview at Vector Marketing. If you don't know what it is.. its cool. I didn't either. However, this company specializes in selling "cutlery",also know as "selling knives". Its was very interesting to say the least. By the way, I still waiting for my second interview. Anyway I'm still looking and I really pray that God will bless me with a good job. Throughout this progress I'm learning how to wait on the Lord. You have to be patient. Its been a challenge but I'm making it somehow. Thank you God for bringing me this far and surrounding me with people that sincerely care about my future and where I'm going. Like the song says "They thy wait on the Lord shall be renewed in strength" and I believe it. This pretty much sums up my month of June. I just pray I progress in July. We'll see though. Until next time peace and stay positive. One more thing when someone tells you something make sure YOU explore what they are saying more deeply. YOU have to discover the answers for yourself. If not you WILL become brainwashed and have a one-sided view of things. You have to form your own opinion. #LessonLearned. Peace!

At Times...

2010-05-30T12:18:00.000-07:00

At times it seems that no one really understand the mental prison that I've been forced to live in. At times I have to ask myself "Am I really living" this can be the life that I deal with forever. Is there anyone out there that can "hear my call."I pray but it seems that God has given up on me. In reality all I want to be is free from this prison that constantly keeps me feeling like nothing. Why me? How come I have to deal with this? I'm in desperate need of a solution because everything else doesn't seem to work. At times...my life seems to go the way I want but then I'm reminded over and over again. This is my life so accept it. But I refuse to accept something God didn't plan for me. At times...In the meantime I just plan on living and keep praying that God pulls me free from the Devil's trap. I pray that He does something fast! Can you not see the pain and hurt I deal with it daily? I don't know where to go. Im lost in a world where corruption has become what we eat everyday and all day. Where is the truth anymore. Please, Please..Lord help free me.

"The Journey is not mine"

2010-05-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

I respect your decision and what YOU must go through but the Journey is not mine.
You want me to follow but your destination is much closer.
Don't get me wrong we share the same love.
But Love just called you quicker!
Your compassion and devotion are admirable. However the journey is not mine.
The place where I am is good. I have my mishaps and share of mistakes.
But I know ultimately who has held me down and who will continue to hold me.
Let me make my mistakes(if they are)so that I can grow and learned from them.
That's the only way we truly learn!
He didn't assemble us to be perfect however, we should aim for that!
If you know yourself and type of person you are so does He.
He knows how many times you will mess up and stray a little from His Will(this is not a goal but it happens.)
All I'm saying is give me room to grow and become wise from my past.
I have to make my own decisions and do whats best for me.
Ultimately, I know where I want to be and I will get there as long as I believe.
He hasn't given up on me yet and I will NEVER give up on Him.
With that said I will continue to support you but "the journey is not mine".

My People

2010-04-20T21:34:00.001-07:00

Nina Simone....

"Beautifully Human..."

2010-04-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

Jill Scott.

"Window Seat" By Badu

2010-03-30T22:56:00.000-07:00

Damn...Erykah.. "Got me dibbling in places I don't want to dibble in" haha...More importantly is the message and I applaud you for staying true to who you are as an artist. I'm not surprised at your choice to make a statement! Great video and song!

Bilal

2010-03-21T16:56:00.000-07:00

I can get down with this...

Its difficult everyday

2010-03-07T07:33:00.001-08:00

It seems like I'm losing my faith and for the most part everything is spiraling in the other direction. "My mind is playing tricks on me". Tempted to give into temptation every time its presented on a serving platter. I gotta do better because this ain't the life forreal. Its making me go crazy. I still haven't found a solution to how I got to this point. Before everything seemed so perfected and good. However, now its seems as though I'm fighting myself about the STUPID decisions I make and my head that is unclear and filled with chaos. Until things go my way. I will NEVER be satisfied;happy. This can't be the life man. There has to be more. God watches me and he still grants me happy moments. I feel I don't even deserve it. But he still loves me...why??? Maybe cause he knows I'm better than this. Its gets harder everyday because I am by myself; alone. "Truth sets us free". Well, I been proclaiming the truth and shouting it but I'm still forced to live in a prison. While everyone lives life. I'm here trying to figure out how not to go crazy! I don't know what to do. Hopefully, everything will come together. The way things are going its hard to believe...

"Lord, save me from myself so that I can heal, please"

Just some good music!

2010-02-27T15:19:00.000-08:00

Inner Me

2010-02-18T21:13:00.000-08:00

For the last 5yrs my inner me seemed to be my enemy!
And I think it just might be the end of me.
I fight and I try to consider other choices but my inner me always seems to win
Conflicted on the right things to do!
I feel I lose every time I give into.
What do I do?
Start anew? But I said that to many times before.
That won't work anymore.
I have to choose to control myself and its proven to be the hardest challenge thus far.
Wayward seems to be my direction now.
Content? NO!!!
How do I get back and stay away from the thing that will result in my death.
Fight! Fight! Fight!...You can beat this!
The thing that hurts the most is that its affecting my first love.
My inner me has become the side of me that I never wanted to be.
A repeated course of action.
"But its okay...because everyone does it or even far worst than I."
Blinded by your actions and unaware of your consequences.
Just stop and look around.
Your inner me is not doing you any good...at all!
Your soul is not at peace.
Your not happy the way your life has gone...
Not really sure where you want it to go!
Your uncertainty..leaves you indecisive..and
Decisions are not clear...thanks inner me!
Your destroying me!
So once again, I'm at the start.
Hoping and Praying that I have to strength to stay focus!
Im running for my life but..
Its scary because...my inner me might be the death of me!

Some R&B at its best...Donell Jones!!

2010-01-27T22:28:00.001-08:00

Erkyah Badu Goes In

2010-01-17T15:50:00.000-08:00

My 20th Birthday....Full of studying

2010-01-17T10:08:00.001-08:00

Today I made 20(my N.O. accent) and I grateful and humbled to have a made to this point. I look back in retrospect and ask where did all the time go? I don't have an answer. However, I not looking back there anymore. I'm looking forward. When the New Year hit I said "Find strength in your past, Be bold in the present, and Don't go back in your future". 20 is just a number but growing up and realizing your responsibilities is a state of mind. This a new stage of life and I dropping of the teen-mentality and progressing. If you ain't with it please do you and keep it moving shawty.haha...By the grace of God I have made it this far. Thank you!

Sade is Back, finally!

2010-01-16T21:49:00.000-08:00

B.O.B... Nothing on you

2010-01-09T12:29:00.000-08:00

This song goes hard...

....And it begins

2010-01-08T18:53:00.000-08:00

I've been out a whole semester from school and I'm proud to say I'm extremely happy to be in back this semester. I'm ready to do my thing which would consist mostly of staying in my books and getting my 4.0 gpa...O yeah, I'm coming for you. So get ready! In all seriousness, I thank God for allowing me to get here. God is extremely good to those that are good to Him. Lord, I love with every inch of my soul. Words can't even express how grateful I'am. I say thank to everyone that continues to support me and the ones that want to see me do well. Without your support, I would of gave up a long time ago but I didn't. With that said I am humbled and honored once again. This is the start of the beginning and I have my track shoes on!

2010...New Era.

2009-12-31T17:01:00.000-08:00

Its crazy how you live so much that you don't realize that time has flown by so fast. Up until several days ago I didn't realize that its been a whole decade. 2000-2010 were the years I spent growing up and learning how (trying) to be the man I'm destined to be. I have had success in some areas but when you have to do it for yourself it challenging. There are many unanswered questions that I plan to solve in the new decade. This time there will be a good change not for others but for myself. It's time to get selfish about my education and goals. Its time to find those real people that support me and let go of those people that can land me in some trouble. Its time to grow up and mature. Its time to fulfill my purpose. 2010 is the start of the beginning....Lets get it in!

Happy New Years Everyone!
No homo...Here's a video to bring in the night! Peace&Love

Searching for Real Words

2009-12-23T02:36:00.000-08:00

I was listening to some Lauryn Hill yesterday and while I let my ears be filled with her words of truth and honesty, I was like damn I missed the fck out of you. Ms. Hill you have been gone far to long and I desperately need you. So come back to me. I really feel what you bring to the world of music. You are far to beautiful and talented to let that voice go unheard. I know everyone would be with me when I say your like water and we need to be replenished with your creativity and love. We have been dehydrated for about 10yrs now! Maybe 11. You represent what a true black, strong, and intelligent woman is. Hell, you are the epitome of the word "beautiful" in every way. I admire you view on hip-hop and your use of personal stories that some of us can relate to. You once said "Music is supposed to inspire so how come we aint getting no higher?" Since you left that question is still unanswered. I'm waiting for a solution, an answer. So I'll waiting because a good thing never stays gone forever.

Reading is Fundamental....Think about it!

2009-12-21T22:43:00.000-08:00

Ralph Ellison-Arthur

Since I've been home this semester, I just have this feeling to read more and more books. I didn't realize how the important it was to read for your own enjoyment. It feels great and it's a wonderful accomplishment for me. My plan from now on is to read more books when I have the chance. Books contain power and they are the power to my getting further ahead. Reading has become fun for my own personal reasons. I enjoy reading books that friends suggest and teach you something you never knew. That's the best prize for me. Learning new stuff that I was either ignorant to or clearing up misconceptions that I learned prior to reading the book. Reading is fundamental and Knowledge is power. Take advantage people!

Ps: My favorite books currently are books that tell about where I came from and the struggles my ancestors had to deal with. They inspire me to keeping and fighting to the end. They are motivational in my opinion.

Tradition

2009-12-13T17:34:00.001-08:00

Question: When did pregnancy and lack of education become the norm of our society? Where has all the tradition gone?

Growing up, I became aware of traditional things like follow the rules of those in authority(parents), get an education, get a job, do things that will make your life better and lives of your family better. It seems some of the people that I grew up with are being sucked into this way of life. When did we stop dreaming and stop wanting to make an impact in the world. This fad is scaring me and I don't understand how our society got so wayward. Please don't get me wrong. I think family and future generations are power to make us get a foot ahead in this world. But if you are not improving yourself and advancing past those things that inhibit you. You are just contributing to the same cycle that your children will follow. Its one thing to get an education and to become success somehow. However, its another thing where you let your situations and issues stop you from achieving your dreams. I pray that getting pregnant isn't something young intelligent ladies are doing because "their friends" decide to do it. Where they do that at?? Everywhere I turn I see someone getting knocked up that I grew up with or went to school with. I hope its done out of love and not out of the spur of the moment. I hope young men are in the mindset that "having a baby is going to fix all my wrongs". No, it won't. If you are doing the same thing you did 10years ago nothing is going to change about you. That's your way of life! As a result, you will influence your child/children lives and they will end up doing the same things you've done. No matter how you try to make their lives better than yours,somehow they will start doing some of the things you did. Its not what you do....Its how you are that makes a difference. Something to think about seriously. I'm all for future advances but when we lack the basic traditions that's when things get hectic. It's not even lacking tradition,its thinking intelligently and using common sense! I'm just surprised at the rate of how many peers of mine are giving up hope. This can't be what life has come to. It's has to be something better than this. Maybe we can find tradition again. I hope so. I haven't given up and neither should you!

Forever

2009-12-05T17:13:00.000-08:00

I merely don't know. Since high school I wanted this forever.And going to college intensified it. I feel it in my soul and I believe that I'm going to get it. Nothing is stopping me from obtaining this. There are going to be trails but Grandma always told me to never give up and keep fighting for what I want. Its going to be a long time from now or maybe soon. I don't make the rules. I see everybody going after the dreams and manifesting them in reality. Now its my turn. One way or another I'm coming for you. So be ready cause I know I am. In the words for a good friend I'm "DONE"!!

Something in the Way of Things

2009-12-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

Deep ish...

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison

2009-12-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

Great book! I recommend for all. I enjoyed it and its my favorite so far...

Sparks by Coldplay

2009-11-30T01:51:00.000-08:00

Thankful

2009-11-26T08:58:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has always been family holiday for us. 19 Thanksgivings and the saga continues...I'm thankful for all my blessings. I would of never had got this far without God. He holds the most honor. Next to him is family and friends. If I didn't have your support and love, I wouldn't be where I am today. Recently, I was placed in a situation where my friends got into an altercation and I had to decide whether I should get involved? If the situation wasn't resolved then I said most definitely I would protect what was mine. My loyalty is that deep and real. I feel my true friends would have my back as well. But this situation got me thinking about who and what would you fight for? We have to protect the ones we love. I'm glad to say that their are people in my life that I would walk with through fire. The good and bad. I want to give a shout to those friends that have been role models and good friends from day one. DJ, Khal, J-Bowden, Austin O, John Estes, Quis, Champ,Drew, ATerry and its several others. Everybody else you are much appreciated. These people keep it real and on their way to doing great things in the future. Find you a group of people that elevate you and vice versa. I'm thankful for all my teachings, blessings, God's hand on my life and the amazing people put in my life.

Closure is Good for the Soul

2009-11-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Yes, we finally came to some closure. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. To sum it up in a few words. She said she will always be there for me and I told her I will always be there for her. I never thought I would get to this point...Wait...I never thought we would get to this point. But I'm cool with it. She's happy and that's all that matters. Up until this point, I have done much venting to make sense of what happen. I just found myself back at square one, wanting to be with her. However, I came to the conclusion that we aren't suppose to be together at this point. Is it possible in the future? Idk...I don't make the rules. At the end the day we are content with where we are. This video maybe different from what you've heard. If you hate me for that's okay..hahaha. Its just my situation in a girl's perspective. Gwen Stefani "Cool"

'Lost and Found"

2009-11-18T04:03:00.000-08:00

by Johnny

There is a storm in my heart
It tears my inside apart
I am bleeding and I am hurt
Like a wingless little bird

Then it turns dark
And for a moment I see
The pain that was inside of me
And on a journey I embark

In search of answers
In search of truth
In search of understanding
In search of you

My guiding star in darkness
Like a little stream in the desert
Everything about you seems flawless
But that is what causes the hurt

Your perfect features do not belong to me
You do not deserve my chains
You need to live and see
What it means to be free

So spread your wings and fly away
For I can not fulfill your dream
But if you should fall one day
I'll guide you and be that little stream

So go and discover it all
And know that wherever you go
Whatever you do and might feel
The only thing you need to do is call

Good Girls

2009-11-13T23:02:00.000-08:00

Where the fck are you???...I been on this mission to find a good woman suitable for me. It been challenging...because I'm empty handed right now. Maybe it's partially my fault and I take notice of the fact. You know that saying " we always love those that love someone else". Well that saying has been quite true in my reality. I'm just nervous that my search would lead to another disappointment. I honestly can't take another hit like that again. So we'll see how things works out with this new girl. In meantime...I 'll listen to someone that can relate. Peace .

Outside the lines

2009-11-10T00:37:00.001-08:00

In everyone's life we are told to stay inside the lines. Live your life accordingly to the rules. Even when we were kids we were told to color inside the lines because if we didn't our creation would be come out horrible or weak as hell.Basically life would be a mess. There have been guidelines all our lives. But when you look at life isn't always suppose to be "perfect". I'm saying life does require some order. But 24/7 is a little extreme. If we want to go outside sometimes that's fine. However, there are consequences to our actions. So just have that in mind. We need to spend life doing things that make US happy and not just others. Live for yourself and let everything come after. Make you happy. I'm discovering that now. Sometimes it better on the other side in the words of John Mayer. If we always stay with what we know we never grow and experience. Who knows that new thing we may encounter will bring something we have been missing our whole lives. Its worth the chance to see life in a new perspective. Don't let fear destroy your goals and keep you from finding those things that are real and that have substance. Welcome to the real world...no such thing!!

November 4th 2008

2009-11-06T17:16:00.000-08:00

The day that changed my life ENTIRELY. Instead of lying outside of history, I became apart of something tremendous. I am history. With one single vote for my role model. I started living inside the realm of history. I didn't vote for him because he was black. What a ignorant and shallow way of thinking. He appealed to me in a different way. This president had character, integrity, and vision which I really admired. He was just different from what I've seen over the recent years. He was quite captivating. I remember waking up on this day. It was cold and the lines long. But I fought pass the sleep and selfishness. I wouldn't dare let this opportunity pass me up. It's really important to count for something and that was the feeling I felt after I finished voting. Absolutely thrilled for the outcome. The day progressed and he started racking in the states. When I saw Georgia and Florida turn blue my heart jumped out my chest. I knew at that particular moment that he had won the election. I heard screams outside and the TV blazing with congratulatory applause. It sent a shock through my body. I was electrified. Everybody was happy and shouting. This was the best moment in my life. The experience was like a chain reaction. I remember everybody that I spoke with celebrating his election. It was amazing to have the whole world in unison celebrating this one historical moment.Just Great! I didn't understand at time but when my good friend, Rico shed tears because of the news it became quite clear. This man is going to change our lives. I just saw an documentary entitled "By the People: The Election of Barack Obama" which was really inspirational. He worked hard and fought all the odds against him. He preserved and he won! After watching the documentary a year later, I can honestly say I felt like I did on this day. Truly inspired to go and accomplish my own dreams. I wanted to add to the history I already became apart of. I want to personally say that you President Barack Obama. You've have inspired everyone that voted for you. You've made a believer out of us. It was an epic moment in history I will never forget and neither will the world!

XU Love

2009-11-03T07:31:00.000-08:00

Xavier University of Louisiana, home the gold rush nuggets and the moldy food(one of the perks).Xavier University had changed me for the better and I've grown as a result. So for me to forget where I came from is ludicrous. XU gave me many experiences and fun times. The thing I take from it all is the wonderful friends I made my first year of college. And I miss every single one of them. I actually spoke to one of my friends last night. Its been awhile. It was good catching up with her. She gave me all the information on who joined fraternities and sororities from our class. I was surprised but mostly because I wasn't there to celebrate their crossing. So congratulations to you all that made it. When I look back at it and compare it to now. We have grown so much and changed positively. I have the chance to look at it from a bird's view and appreciate it all. I met some of the greatest people while attending Xavier and I'm grateful and humble that I had the pleasure. I wish you all much success on your own personally journeys. Everybody their hold it down for me. Peace&Love

Bullet

2009-10-22T22:30:00.000-07:00

IT pierces through the soul
Leaving you paralyzed in thought.
The shot has made you consider,
the things in life you take for granted.
Your only salvation is yourself and Him
You pray and morph into a new person
No one different
Just a new perspective.
You think it has wounded you
But in actuality it saved your life.
You don't realize it in the beginning
Overtime.......it becomes quite clear.
You were a victim of bad friendships,
situations, and internal abuse.
IT set you free.
IT helped you grow.
As a result,your days of feeling miserable faded away.
IT hit your heart and knocked you to the ground.
Once you jumped back to your feet,
you were healed.
You opened your eyes and your judgment,and commitment was stronger.
Now you are able to take a sprint and live life full purpose and excitement.
IT was just in it's mission.
IT cleansed the soul

Human Nature

2009-10-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

I've become aware that nobody is perfect and that's okay. We weren't built to be perfect. Sometimes the people that we place on pedestals turn out to be the one's that inherit trouble. I expect these people not to have a bad bone in their body. Everything they choose to do is suppose to be "good". But that's where I was mistaken and maybe even blinded by my callowness. Now I see that people are people. We have flaws. We make mistakes. We are indecisive. In fact, nothing we ever do will be 100 percent perfect. We try are best and give our all to live up to the standards of people, society, and the world. However, we revert back to our human nature. Our desires and temptation seem to get the best of us. We try to live right but in the end were just humans. For example, David Letterman is much respected in the entertainment world but he had affair with his assistant producer or whatever she was. This goes to show that nobody is completely perfect. We all make mistakes and sometimes we live right. I just had to get out of the mind-frame that people that I had veneration for are just like me. They too, mess up. Human nature is a thing we all have in common. No matter how rich or poor you are. Indeed, your situations determines your life and the way you live. On the contrary, the way we act, think, and feel are things that happens to everyone. It was shockingly surprising to see this banal concept in everyone. Sometimes are nature can lead us out bad situations or into good ones. The beautiful thing about our nature is that we can choose to be great or miserable and deal with the consequences. It's up to us to be better than ourselves. To evolve past all our habits that may ruin our lives. I'm speaking from experience because I know I'm far from perfect and I'm content with it. I rather be close to perfection than actually perfect. When your are perfect you have to maintain a reputation and be in good standards. So I say I don't want it. My flaws are "cool" with me. They keep me working hard so that I can improve them. We all problems, issues,and other concerns that brings us all to share this thing called Human Nature. We as a people just need to realize that EVERYBODY has their times and mess ups. So don't be to surprise if your favorite entertainment celebrity, singer, or individuals with great reputations are making the news headlines. They too are human.(a lesson I learned)

No Half-Stepping Society

2009-10-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

Our society, community for the longest has been wrapped up in the trends of having escalades, being the man on the block, being a product of society. and many more. Of course its not everyone but this sums up our culture. We are known to let our ignorance determine our life according to the world. When that's not the truth. There are many African Americans both male and female that are changing their community, and the world. So my question is when are we going to step-up in our society? When are we going to up-grade ourselves to become better than what we were in the past? It's time to be "21" with our lives and demonstrate for the future generation that its more to owning a navigator with "deuces" on the tires. It's time for us to change the trend. We need to re-invent ourselves. I am fully aware of those that have gone before us and done great things. I commend and applaud them for their success. Now that they have done their job,its our time. Lets educate one another and help each other grow because we can't live in a society that doesn't want to mature and become a better union. We don't need to do it for the world or the others that degrade us. We need to do it for ourselves. It will show that we are about work and business. We are intelligent. We know how to raise are sons and daughters. In addition, we know how to be a family unit and work through all our issues. Where are all my business men and women, doctors, lawyers,teachers, mechanics, and entertainers? Its our responsibility to make a big dent. We need to move from minor to major. For years we have been a part of the minority and acquiring respect will result from doing great things. There is an excessive amount of things against us and that inhibit us from going far. So I say its our time to make it our priority to do work and gain success through the many achievements that we will earn in the future. It's time to relinquish the trends of having all the cars, money, and girls. How about the trend of being a man or a woman reaching new heights that were said were unobtainable by the world or evening our own people? It's our future people and I'm on my journey to becoming great and not letting anyone or anything stop me. My people lets shock the world and give our best. When they are not supporting us we have to support each other. We have to step it up in our society, really. Lets take that full step to be amazing.

Mourning....FBk is dead

2009-10-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

What would we do if there was no more myspace, twitter, and here it is, the big one FACEBOOK!!! Yeah I said it. What? Are you going to have me committed? Are you going to put out a hit on me?..But in all seriousness, what would we do. I remember first joining Facebook back in 2006 and I never thought it would have the power it has now. Initially, I did it because my friend told me about the site and was like you should try it. When I think about it. Facebook had my birthday year wrong for the longest. Damn social network!! I guess they were still working out the kinks. I remember acquiring friends over the years and reaching hundreds and hundreds as I continued to log-in into the site. I agree with the overall objective of facebook,which is to stay in contact with those people that you met in your life. Now it seems that it has become this place where you play games and add application while continuously updating your status. I'm no exemption for this. I enjoy facebook.(sometimes a little to much.) Yes, Im a facebook addict, junkie,or whatever you want to call it..And that's real. But back to the question at hand, what would we do if lost facebook? Would civilization cease to exist? Or would we go back to playing Tag? That was fun. Facebook is a problem for me. I admit it. I would be completely miserable and be the first person to scream "the world is coming to an end" if facebook would just die off. I mean what would I do....GET A JoB...Have a Successful career...Family...No and I mean No!!!! Facebook has all of those applications and more. "What is this job stuff you speak?"...This is the question I would ask someone if they told me to get a job and get a life. I would slap the fck out them. Nobody will come between me and my facebook. In my opinion is highly addictive and ruining my life(my intervention). So with that said I going to give it up... in two wks.(right)..I'm going to put in on the back burner for now and starting living life without it. Now that's some scary ish...But it has to happen. I think I'm ready. Peace Facebook...we shall reunite again.( wondering who wrote on my wall right now...ummhhh)

I Ask....

2009-10-11T13:51:00.000-07:00

myself...when will I start living life for me and stop worrying about pleasing others? For years I seemed to put my friends and family members before myself...Before God...And that's a mighty high price to pay. The day I chose God was the day blessings started to fall upon me. I figured that's the way life should be. God>>>Me>>>Everyone/Everything else. I have to live my life for God and in doing so I will become more God-like. He is the only way I will get through anything in life. Daily I need a dose of the Lord just to make it. In all honesty, I'm tired of taking the role as people pleaser(little extreme) but at times I do feel this way. Now that I have realize this horrible characteristic, its my job to fix it. It's my fault for letting it escalate this far but its cool now. I have to cut some strings and see who's really down for Mark'Quest. I already know who my real folks are.Everybody else will reveal themselves as time proceeds. The power of "No" seems like it will be quite important in the future. If this hurts your feelings or makes you feel like I've changed(like you care)...Umm that's cool. Do you. Maturity seems to make us grow up and I'm all for that. I'm letting go of the things that tend to hold me back from achieving any type of happiness for myself. I will live life positively and most of all for me. It's time for a good and dramatic change. Everybody that's been real and honest with me will understand...Some lyrics that pop in my head at this particular moment is..."I just don't give a fck" by Yola da Great(throw-back). Yelling this in times where the worlds against you and your back against the wall makes you feel good. Live your life for yourself people(I blog about this a lot..I know).If you are not living for yourself then your not living.PERIOD.....Peace&love

"I don't know the secret of success, but the secret of failure is to try to please everybody"

Silly of Me(Love's fool)

2009-10-04T21:48:00.000-07:00

Dear, Marie-ah

Its crazy how you think things will be the same when in reality its quite the opposite. I been a fool for 2yrs now. I thought maybe what we had would blossom into something more. Instead, its just died and withered away. Yes, it was my fault for waiting to long to tell you how I feel. Now, I suffer the consequences. Through your actions I see that there is someone else. It destroys my soul and I can't let you go. We have entirely to much shit that we been through. It's just not fair when you take our years and replace it with someone's minutes. Again I take fault for not going beyond the best friend level with you. But somewhere in your mind, you had to know that I was falling for you. It was hard to be your opposite and not ponder those thoughts for you. I sit here and see how happy you are without me. I'm crushed because I suppose to be the man standing in the pictures with you. I'm suppose to be the shoulder you cry on when you have those bad days. Its suppose to me!!! I know that I'm acting selfish but I don't care. I love you the most but you don't see that. The thing that shocked me was that I was no longer a priority in your life. Our friendship became association and that didn't even turn out well. I became a burden. Someone to push to the side and just be there. We spent months without any communication and just like a fool I wanted to salvage a friendship and keep you near. I've come to the realization that what we have is not healthy for me. I don't think I can take being just a friend in your life. So I decided to let it go...I don't know when but it has to happen. I realized that sooner than later might not work either because I can't(refuse) to wait for something that may not happen. I think the reason I;m hanging on is because there was no closure when I did tell you how I feel. You said "I need time to find myself" which I gave you. I just didn't know during that time you would find Him to be "that person for you". Our future is unclear and I'm not totally sure what I want to do... Silly Silly Silly ME!!!!

Love always, the friend

Living in Retrospect

2009-09-28T23:17:00.000-07:00

I often find myself thinking about the past things and events. Why? I don't know....Sometimes its good to remember how things use to be. I guess Im just a traditional kind of guy. When you have those days where it seems like the world is against you. The past seems to provide some kind of relief and comfort for me. I find myself remembering the things that have effected me the greatest. Whether its music, food, or family and friends. "Man I miss the good ol days". Now, I'm telling the younger generation "well back in my day..." and I share my stories of the past. In all honesty, it makes me happy.

Refusal of Stupidity

2009-09-25T21:08:00.000-07:00

Lately, I been interested in President Obama. Is it because I voted for him? Honestly, yes it is. It was the first time I had the chance to vote in any election. I believe in his plan about change and making America better. I'm not sure all his plans and I don't agree with entirely everything he does. But I feel he deserve to be our president. He at least deserves that right? Its just been a lot of nay-Sayers that seem to make his job harder than what has to be. Its cool to voice your opinion. This is America,home of the free. Do as you please. Its just crazy when you have people that are acting stupidly. There are people that want to harm his well-being( i.e assassinations and other threats). The thing that got on my nerves was when some people didn't want President Obama to speak to their children about staying in school and being successful in life. It wasn't a bad thing. I was rather inspired about him "ENCOURAGING" the youth to stay in school. Did he tell the child to go jump off the bridge? No,absolutely not. I just didn't understand why people were making a big issue about it. I know the United States isn't perfect and there a some that don't want to see what the value of an education will do for them. However, there are some that believe education is important and to be successful you need to be inspire by those that have gone before you and did magnificent things in this world. President Obama is one of those figures. So I applaud him for doing what he feels will change this world. I have one question America when did we decide that educating our youth was a negative thing? We seriously need to do some soul-search if that's the case. I refuse to be a part of a society that doesn't want me to succeed in life and be more than a statistic. I'm sorry but that's not the life for me. I'm more intelligent than that. Stop making excuses not to be great. And don't let others determine the way your life goes. If that happens you are not living for yourself. Make your own choices and decisions and don't regret them... Wake-up before its to late!!!!!!

She Was My World

2009-09-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

Imagine being a young kid that didn't understand much of anything. I only knew how to play and live life limitless. When I was younger,about 10 years old or so, I live with my grandma that did everything for me. She would cook, devote time to me developing my writing skills,and most of all she introduced me to God. Before then I was just a kid that didn't know much about religion. Although at the time I didn't appreciate all the choir rehearsals and attending Sunday school, I do now. My grandma was the epitome of good and real. She would touch the souls of anyone that she encountered. She had wisdom that would help you sort out any issues you faced.The thing I remember most is that she always came through no matter what. I truly respected that about her. Having seen that for myself, I can say its rubbed off on me. So I thank her because her kindness, concern, and strength help me to pursue medicine and want to help people. On the bad days and good days is when I miss her the most because I can't share it with her. I wish she was here to see how much I've grown as a person and how much she has contributed to my growth. It's all the simple things that she has given me that keeps me celebrating her memory. I long to hear your voice again and tell me "well done my son". Ernestine D, Williams was/is my world. Nothing will ever change it.... Hold on to the things that matter most.

Until me meet again
Rest in Peace, I love you

KJ-thanks for the inspiration

The Future In Somebody...pt.2

2009-09-18T11:17:00.000-07:00

I'm like damn I can't even wait till I get back to doing what I do best. I see everybody doing their school thing and trying to get somewhere higher. I truly respect that about people. So all the people I fcks with the long way..my bad the strong way.(Dang can't seem to keep up.)Keeping doing what you do. With that said I can't wait till next semester. Here I come Columbus State. I'm ready to do the damn thing. And "get closer to my dreams". In the mean time, hopefully I will find a job and volunteer at the hospital. Everybody that supports black men changing the world or just me wish me success on my way to greatness.

"The road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions"

2009-09-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

I was watching a show today and and they mention this quote. I wanted to analyze the meaning behind it. Its interesting. I also wanted to know what have I done in my life that may run parallel with this saying. I did my research on it and I found out that it meant that we have good intentions but result is something unexpected or bad. Well from the Tv show this saying was used with a religious meaning involving God....So I ask my "The road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions"? To me it sounds like we try to do Godly things but end straying away from what we intended to do in the beginning. We want to be more like God but our lusting and desires seem to get in the way. We chose our desires and what we want over God. And I'm not an exception to this. There are many times where I let what I want and my desires take the steering wheel. Where it should be God that's conducting me. I'm not perfect but that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to aim for perfection. I ask myself when am I going to stop and let God be a part of my life? When am I going to let the things in this world come second and Him first? I just pray that God forgives me and through it all He continues to shed His love and Grace on me. Lord, I sorry for all my good intentions that went wrong. I pray that you bless and help me gain focus so that I can see You and all the wonderful things you want to do for me. Please don't give up me because I refuse to give up on becoming more like you. Continue to strengthen me and lead me down the path of righteousness. Lord, please relinquish all the negativity and keep the devil from touching a child of Yours. Just continue to walk with me for the rest of my life and I promise that I will be committed to a life that You want for me. I believe...I believe...I believe.

Have It All Together

2009-09-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Some would say I have it all together. Well to tell the truth, I have problems just like all the others. My life is far from perfect but I try to be successful in all I do. So who are you to tell me I’m not good enough. When it’s the ignorant shit you do that inhibits your growth. Strive for success not perfection because I don’t want to lose my chances of being wrong. When your wrong you grow. I become more human as a result. Singing the same song of my imperfects, to which I belong. My flaws show that I’m a human being and I just an average guy in a sense. Some would say I have it all together…I say I don’t

31seconds

2009-09-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Me:Hello? Hello?...
Yea...

Person: How are you?

Me: I'm good. Everything is going perfect.

Person: You need to go back to Atlanta.......

End of conversation!!!!!!!!

Wow a whole 31second conversation with a person that told me to leave their house and go back to Atlanta. So what now I'm not welcomed in your house anymore? Damn!!!. That's funny because I distinctly remember you saying " this was my house too". I guess not. But its cool bruh. I don't need you to do anything for me. With or without you I'm going to be successful. Sometimes I question whether I'm even a part of your genetic make-up. From this previous talk you treat me like a stranger. You ask me what I want from you? Well, I want you to do your job for once. When will the every 2yr conversations end? In no way, shape or form I don't deserve that from you. Growing up, I had no positive role model to help develop me into the man I suppose to be. She tries to provide but I tell her that's not her job... to be a rock. But no matter what, I know she will always be my #1 fan.

O yea this PERSON is my ol man.....Thanks for being a great father and doing your job o so well!!!! No hard feelings...Do what you do. Peace&Love

Welcome to the Free Life

2009-09-08T13:16:00.000-07:00

I remember the dayz when I was a young dude. My life was consumed with Pokemon,Pinky and the Brain, Nickelodeon,sleep and o yeah that thing called school. I remember just living the life with any major worries....If there were any, it was "did I miss my Saturday cartoons, what games am I goin to get from my game-boy". That was the life. Playing games with my friends praying that the streetlights did't come on. if they did grandma would of handle it. Life back then seem so limit-less. I could stretch my imagination to infinity and be perfectly content with it. No regulations, no government, just free. I remember just living life without bills, car notes, student loans, and everything that doesn't become free after you turn 18yrs old. Once you leave the free life world, there's no 100% comeback. There might be a 20% chance that you live life free but when you become an adult you(we) have to realize that being a grown-up is extremely expensive. Its quite amazing how much stuff you have to put up with. All the decisions you have that will determine the rest of your life. And those decisions and choices are high prices. The only thing is when you decide things you are taking a gamble and hope that they work out for the best. When they don't you feel that you wasted valuable money and that's money you can't get back. However, I wish the free world existed for adults but somehow it doesn't . As a result, I'm starting to see that as I grow up in this expensive world!

The Future In Somebody...wtf

2009-09-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

VS

What should I decide?....I have not the slightest clue.
Gotta make some moves....soon!!!!

Vanished

2009-08-23T08:25:00.000-07:00

Lost- is defined as unable to find's one's way. According to some.

When I examine the the course of my life, I say what in the world has happened. I been lost for the last 3years and never knew it till now. Through everything I lost my self. As a man of God, as a student, and as a human being. How did I become so wayward? What has happened over the course of 3years that has lead me to this point in life? Although I'm lost I won't give up on what I believe in, God and all His wonderful blessings. I know with Him I will find life and ultimate happiness...My vanished portrait will be painted again but with more life and with God instilled in me....I believe. Vanished one day and Established the next. When I find life again, it will be more prosperous. It will be full of positive aspirations as a result, all the negative issues that has cause unhappiness for the last 3years will become a thing of the past. And then finally my soul will be at peace and I will be closer to God!

Resolution

2009-08-15T20:14:00.000-07:00

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding . In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

This is me evaluating my situation and moving forward with life. In the words of the realest nigg out of Ellenwood. lol.. KLAW, "You can do only what you can and God will do everything you can't." Just pray and everything will be alright..>>>>>>>moving forward!!!!....And I want to say thank you Bishop for your words of advice. The scripture did the job.

"Losing My Balance"

2009-08-14T20:53:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how things have gotten so crazy in the last 72hrs of my life. I went from having everything together to have nothing at all. God is my only salvation now. I didn't see it before and I'm still working it out in my mind. I'm not going to be in school this semester and its really hitting home for me. I NEVER thought I would find myself out of school. Other than my faith and God. My education is the only thing that puts me at peace. Now a whole semester of what? I feel so unstable and to be honest this is the first time I left unbalanced in life. But I want slip, and I won't fall, as soon as I get a grip I will be alright. It's just a working progress. Things happen for a reason and I'm a firm believer of that. This is not the end for Dr. Mark'Quest Ajoku. I have to believe that God will make a way for me!....In the words of my nigg, J.Cole, If I got a crawl I'm going to make it to the end" I'm on my way to the top!!

"We Don't Care"

2009-08-06T21:36:00.001-07:00

This is my first blogg and I was inspired by my homies,friends, and brothers. My homie Akil, Kaylen, and all the class of 2009 thats going to college. Good luck and much success on your way to the top....
"Cause aint no to tuition for havin no ambition
And aint no loans for sittin your ass at home
So we forced to sell crack rap and get a job
You gotta do something man your ass is grown"
Kanye West(college drop-out)

Im glad all you have decided to pursue furthur education after Cedar Grove...lol. Stay true to yourself and Keep God in all you do because all you had was Him before you had anything. Just some food for thought!!!!!

Peace&Love!!!!!!!!!